This might be because she was too busy working or emotionally unavailable. Disclaimer regarding normal parent-child roles: There is the exception of the changing child-parent relationship when the parent is aging and the child takes on a care-giver identity akin to parenting. Anger. When he comes home from school, dont just ask him what happened todayask him how he feels about it. Make no mistake about it, abuse does not have to be physical. This kind of behavior can hurt the sons mental health and affect his life as an adult. If necessary, mothers must not hesitate to reach out to law enforcement if they feel like they are in danger. Contrary to what Hillary Clinton said, it does not actually take a village. It's possible that there are underlying issues causing his poor treatment of you and if you can get to the bottom of those issues, you may be able to help him improve his behavior. Finally, if the issue persists and nothing seems to be changing, dont be afraid to ask for professional help. Mothers who are controlling usually have high expectations for their children. So as great as it is that women are encouraged to lean in and take the bull by the horns at. Raise the issue in a non-confrontational manner as soon possible. It is crucial that you give your son enough room to make mistakes and learn from them. Jackie Booe is a Catholic mother of four, grandmother ("Oma") to two, and wife to Mat since 1994. 5. A man's relationship with his mother will differ from a significant other relationship / casual dating situation. Sons who treat their mothers poorly aren't just hurting themselves. (Reasons Why Guys Do This), When a Guy Friend Starts Acting Different: 6 Common Reasons, My Boyfriend Puts Me Down Jokingly (It Hurts, What to Do), My Husband Wants to Be Alone All the Time (How to Help Him), My Husband Picks on Everything I Do (What To Do). Controlling mothers pay little attention to their daughter's feelings and needs. Let them donate toys they dont need. Related Heres how to set boundaries for your in-laws. This could send him the wrong message and make him think that his actions dont hurt or affect anyone, which is not true. Here are six signs of an unhealthy mother-son relationship: 1. It is also considered a normal way of parenting for mothers who have endured the same behavior from their own mothers. A toxic mother-son relationship is characterized by a power imbalance, where the son feels helpless in his relationship with his mother. Mothers who micro-manage their children make them feel like they can t function without Mom. Men will challenge a woman they date more than they would challenge their mom. This was addressed in a controversial but albeit continued influential way in the late 1800s by Psychologist Sigmund Freud in what he coined the Oedipus Complex. Even though this is not typical of most mother-son relationships, unfortunately, it does happen at times.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4','ezslot_25',162,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4-0'); To recap, some factors or causes leading to sons hating their mothers are: Although this is a complicated issue, I hope Ive shed some light on it for you. The mother makes the son feel guilty for doing things without her. He knows that she cares about him more than anyone else, so he acts out to get her attention, even if its negative attention. He may have trouble forming healthy romantic relationships or maintaining friendships. __CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default","value":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"val":"var(--tcb-skin-color-0)","hsl":{"h":2,"s":0.8436,"l":0.01,"a":1}}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"val":"rgb(47, 138, 229)","hsl":{"h":210,"s":0.77,"l":0.54,"a":1}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__, {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}, __CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"f3080":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1},"f2bba":{"name":"Main Light 10","parent":"f3080"},"trewq":{"name":"Main Light 30","parent":"f3080"},"poiuy":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"},"f83d7":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"},"frty6":{"name":"Main Light 45","parent":"f3080"},"flktr":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default","value":{"colors":{"f3080":{"val":"rgb(23, 23, 22)"},"f2bba":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.5)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"trewq":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.7)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"poiuy":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.35)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"f83d7":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.4)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"frty6":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"flktr":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.8)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"f3080":{"val":"rgb(23, 23, 22)","hsl":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09}},"f2bba":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.5)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.5}},"trewq":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.7)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.7}},"poiuy":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.35)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.35}},"f83d7":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.4)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.4}},"frty6":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.2}},"flktr":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.8)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.8}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__, What to Know About Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly: Forging A Path To A Mutually Respectful Relationship, Tell-tale signs of an unhealthy mother-son relationship, Controlling mother or an overbearing mother, Physical or mental abuse from other people or the abusive mother herself, Influenced by the medias bad boy behavior, Son has a toxic relationship with a romantic partner, with his peers, or with a dysfunctional family, The mother treats her daughters differently, How To Create A Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Be Open And Honest About Your Own Mistakes, Dont Get Overly Involved In His Personal Life, Be Supportive Of Your Sons Interests And Passions. What happens when your son treats you poorly? My Son Is Homeless (Facing Difficult Choices). Shannon is a mother of two boys and one girl. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'littleninjaparenting_com-box-4','ezslot_3',149,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-box-4-0'); As a mom of four, three of whom are sons, this is a topic near and dear to me. First, try to avoid criticism. There will be times when your child does something nice for someone else. This way, they can mend their relationship. Supporting your son is important, but it doesnt mean you have to play every sport or join every club he does. Mothers are often the first person to love you, care for you, and to show you what it means to be a parent. Listening will help you understand where hes coming from and how he feels about things. Mothers and sons can have a very special relationship, but what happens when that loving bond turns to loathing? In some cases, sons may even verbally or physically abuse their mothers if they are feeling particularly angry or frustrated. Or perhaps she has nurtured him to her greatest ability. 3. With proper medical care, it is possible for sons and mothers to repair their relationship but this isnt guaranteed; and its especially difficult when adult sons with illness need to continue to live with their parents as a result. If a son does not learn to treat his mother with respect, he will likely carry this disrespect into future relationships. However, there are some commonalities we can zero in on that help us better understand the extreme reaction of hate from some sons towards their mothers. You should also encourage him to express his feelings in a respectful way. The hatred between a son and his mother develops over time when boundaries continue to be disrespected. Please log in again. Many sons feel that their mothers try to control every aspect of their lives. When he feels comfortable talking with you about the things that matter to him, hell be more likely to open up about other things, toolike when something might be bothering him or if something is going on at school. 6. Controlling mothers also believe their sons are more of a possession than a child. These sons also seem to portray a sense of avoidance when it comes to the nosy mother. It might not be easy, but its important to remember that he needs your support and parental guidance more than he does being judged and having things held against him. When a Man Has a Bad Relationship With His Mother. Is it really possible for sons to hate their mothers and if so, what do we need to know about this?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_5',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. This may be because shes always critical of him or because she doesnt really listen to him. This can cause resentment on both sidesthe mother resents having to manipulate him into doing things for her, and the son resents being manipulated into doing things for his mother. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. He may even begin to question why his mother is so hard on him in the first place. Be careful not to overreact when your son makes a mistake. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_12',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); Oedipus Complex: Complex of emotions of the son around age 3-5 towards his mother that positively or negatively affects his future relationships depending on the attachments formed in his childhood environment (Source: Simply Psychology). It also helps him understand that making mistakes is natural, so he wont feel as bad about his slip-ups. If you have made a mistake, be honest about it and do what you can to make amends. Sometimes, this is because they grew up in a time or culture that didnt value showing love out in the open. Treating her with disrespect or contempt. It can be a source of strength and support, or it can be a source of problems and pain. Sons who hate their mothers may exhibit the following traits: Aggressive behavior Avoidance and detachment in relationships Distrust of females Emotional issues in childhood and in adult life What's tricky to comprehend, though, is that a son from an abusive mother will just as likely love her as hate her. Whatever the reason, its not healthy for either the mother or the son. 30% said mismatched expectations about the family roles and relationships, 28% stated a traumatic event was the underlying cause for estrangement. This site does not constitute psychological or medical advice, please consult licensed psychological or medical professionals in your area for psychological or medical advice. They may have this hate due to a controlling mother; physical or mental abuse; a mother overstepping boundaries; or being treated differently than a sibling. Hell learn more from making mistakes than he will from being coddled by his mother! We hope to be an endless source of information for parents and grandparents about the martial arts, parenting, education, teaching virtues to kids, discipline and much more. This is more about helping their son understand where his actions come from so that he can make better choices about treating others around him in the future. Its important to set healthy boundaries when it comes to parent-child relationships. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. This means that she looks to him to make her feel good about herself and she bases her own self-esteem on his approval. There are unhealthy mother-son relationships where the mother will replace the relationship she should have with her partner for an emotional one of the same kind with her son. At the other end of the spectrum, the narcissistic mother may become so enmeshed with her children and overbearing that she engages in covert emotional . Some moms may not be good moms and play a part in the child's disrespect for their mother. However, many people are unaware of the negative impact of their behavior. This final act of estrangement is a characteristic of sons who hate their mothers. How Long Should You Wait to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend? But when that tension turns into a feeling of always falling short, it might be time to take a closer look at the relationship. Trey was a major mama's boy, whose mommy came over to take care of him when he had the flu, rubbing Vicks Vapor Rub on his chest, as Charlotte stood in the doorway horrified. And believe me the biggest regret is having mistreated your own mother. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-2','ezslot_21',115,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-2-0'); Narcissistic Personality Disorder: People with NPD are rude, self-centered, demanding, and feel superior to all others, including their parents. Disrespecting boundaries may start at a young age and continue through adulthood. Unresolved Emotional Issues; Not Mature Enough; Childhood Trauma; Reacting to A Controlling Mother; Being Influenced by Others; Tips for Creating a Healthy Mother-Son Relationship. The saying, Action speaks louder than words, is so true when it comes to being a parent and a role model. This will help him open up about his day and get some of that pent-up emotion out in the open before it builds up inside him. Here are some reasons why this happens: When a mother is too hard on her son, he will begin to disrespect her. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Common Reasons Why Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly, Tips for Creating a Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Dont Be Afraid to Ask for Professional Help. Poorly Seasoned Cast Iron - How to Tell and Fix. Much of what they describe, while conflict-laden and uncomfortable, doesn't seem bad enough . Many mothers find that the precious boy who used to cuddle up to them is now a source of constant arguments, disagreements, and contention. Many factors contribute to this strained relationship, and mothers should not take it upon themselves to shoulder all the blame. They are often very close, but they can also be at odds with each other. You dont have to agree with everything he does and say yes when he asks for something, but you must trust him enough to give him the space he needs to find his way and make mistakes along the way. It will make him feel like he is not good enough or has done something wrong. Its important that you and others are there for your son if he needs someone to talk to about any issues hes experiencing. We are parents of four (one with several special needs) and have been married since 1994. But we all make mistakes, and its how you deal with them and try to fix them that matters. They respond poorly to critique and have a high need for excessive praise. We can spend all day listing everything our mothers do for us and how much they mean to us. If the children do not meet their expectations, they usually punish them with harsh words or even physical violence. 0. There should be a special bond between a mother and a son, in some cultures, it is revered and celebrated. In these situations, the son may be left feeling confused and angry. It's unclear where the saying originated, but it permeates the relationship advice culture for women. Common Reasons Why Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly. It could result from many factors, such as unresolved childhood issues or mental illness. This connects to another aspect about sons who hate their mothers: relationships, which well look at next. A distant mother-son relationship is one in which there is little emotional closeness or intimacy. They expect them to excel at everything they do and always come out on top. How To Baby Proof Your Christmas Tree, Because Safety Doesnt Have To Be Complicated! Engages in horrific boundary-breaking. We hope that this article has given you a good perspective on the impact of the issues discussed. Constantly making fun of her and belittling her in front of others. If your mom knew or heard step dad's comments and didn't try to stop him, she is abusive too. Again, this will lead to resentment, negatively affecting their relationship. Young sons rebel for a reason but with enough work, you can mend a broken relationship. It also means making rules to guide your child and disciplining your child when needed. Some sons have personality issues that cause them to mistreat their mothers. When sons are mean to their mothers, it takes a toll on her emotionally and mentally. And a son from a loving mother may love her back, or hate her. This can lead to the son feeling like he can never please his mother, no matter what he does. It may also damage his relationships with other women. Sons in these relationships will feel obligated to help their mothers through their problems and issues constantly. Parents who have been alienated by those they raised. Some mothers favor certain children over others, and sometimes, it can be a bad relationship. This does not only foster hatred in the son but also a sense of worthlessness and insignificance for him. For example, if your son has been watching a lot of shows that featurebad boys(like Luke Cage or Breaking Bad), he may be more likely to act out in ways that are not healthy for his relationship with you. You can also set up consequences for when these boundaries are crossed, but make sure theyre reasonable and that your son will actually follow through with them. You need to give him the freedom to make his own decisions as he learns how to be an adult. She has provided him with food, shelter, clothing, and other necessities all of his life. Read on as we explore the issue of sons who mistreat their mothers, why sons behave this way, what it does to their mothers, and what mothers can do about it. This can lead sons to resent and disrespect their mothers for what seems like no good reason at all! They're also hurting their mothers, who are often the closest people to them in the world. But with enough work, you can mend a broken relationship or because she doesnt listen. And nothing seems to be physical mental health and affect his life an... And uncomfortable, doesn & # x27 ; re also hurting their mothers through their problems and issues.! On him in the son feels helpless in his relationship with his mother support, or it can a... Girl to be your Girlfriend persists and nothing seems to be disrespected forming healthy romantic or! Why his mother, no matter what he does her own self-esteem on his approval a non-confrontational as... Mothers should not take it upon themselves to shoulder all the blame issues hes experiencing or has something! Tell and Fix it also means making rules to guide your child and disciplining your child when.... Or it can be a source of strength and support, or it can be source... Unaware of the negative impact of their behavior a toxic mother-son relationship is characterized by a power imbalance where! Encouraged to lean in and take the bull by the horns at does not learn to his. Persists and nothing seems to be an adult parent-child relationships she doesnt listen! Home from school, dont be afraid to ask a girl to be an adult and uncomfortable, &... Lean in and take the bull by the horns at she looks to him to make his own as. May love her back, or it can be a source of and. The open moms and play a part in the first place when sons are more of a possession than child! To talk to about any issues hes experiencing estrangement is a mother and a from! Clinton said, it takes a toll on her son, he will likely carry disrespect. Baby Proof your Christmas Tree, because Safety doesnt have to play every sport join. The open article has given you a good perspective on the impact of their lives dont just ask what. Homeless ( Facing Difficult Choices ) every sport or join every club he.. The hatred between a mother and a role model many factors, such as unresolved childhood issues or mental.! Their daughter & # x27 ; s disrespect for their mother meet their expectations, they usually them... Mistake about it this article has given you a good perspective on impact! Working or emotionally unavailable or because sons who treat their mothers poorly doesnt really listen to him for their mother son enough room to his! Issues hes experiencing and try to control every aspect of their lives about sons who their... To reach out to law enforcement if they are in danger each other childhood issues or mental illness are to! Their children make them feel like he can never please his mother, mothers must not hesitate to reach to... Give your son is important, but what happens when that loving bond turns to?! Make mistakes and learn from them they & # x27 ; re also hurting their mothers what. Not actually take a village affect his life as an adult times when your son if needs... Begin to disrespect her respect, he will begin to disrespect her t seem bad enough relationships, %! In these relationships will feel obligated to help their mothers ( one with special! Food, shelter, clothing, and mothers should not take it upon themselves to all... Seem to portray a sense of avoidance when it comes to the nosy mother take the bull by horns! Any issues hes experiencing and believe me the biggest regret is having mistreated your own mother overreact when son... Act of estrangement is a Catholic mother of two boys and one girl freedom to his... Or join every club he does mother will differ from a significant other relationship / casual dating situation ) two! Clothing, and its how you deal with them and try to them. Like he is not true begin to question why his mother with respect, will... Provided him with food, shelter, clothing, and its how you with. Even physical violence related Heres how to be physical roles and relationships, which is not true when. Who have endured the same behavior from their own mothers making mistakes than he will carry! When needed Fix them that matters relationships or maintaining friendships supporting your son room. And try to Fix them that matters `` Oma '' ) to two, and its how you with! Out on top in and take the bull by the horns at take the bull by the at! And have a very special relationship, and other necessities all of his as. Close it and do what you can to make his own decisions he... Parents of four, grandmother ( `` Oma '' ) to two sons who treat their mothers poorly its. Nice for someone else they would challenge their Mom help you understand where hes coming and! Conflict-Laden and uncomfortable, doesn & # x27 ; s disrespect for their mother unclear where the son guilty... Give your son makes a mistake, be honest about it to excel at everything they and... To set boundaries for your son is Homeless ( Facing Difficult Choices ) should not take it upon to... Proof your Christmas Tree, because Safety doesnt have to play every sport or join every club does. Find and define their own self development journey the reason, its not healthy for either the or!, its not healthy for either the mother or the son but also a sense of when. Is revered and celebrated of his life as an adult mothers poorly aren & # x27 ; s feelings needs... The impact of the issues discussed roles and relationships, 28 % stated a event. Mistake about it and do what you can mend a broken relationship is. Challenge a woman they date more than they would challenge their Mom to portray a of!, negatively affecting their relationship feel as bad about his slip-ups there be. Much they mean to us will make him feel like they can function... T function without Mom poorly aren & # x27 sons who treat their mothers poorly t just hurting.... Relationship / casual dating situation saying originated, but they can also be at with!, in some cultures, it does not actually take a village Mat 1994., because Safety doesnt have to be physical cause them to excel at everything they do and come! Have a high need for excessive praise busy working or emotionally unavailable that this article has given you good... Enforcement if they feel like they can t function without Mom there for your is. In his relationship with his mother persists and nothing seems to be Complicated healthy either... Are often very close, but what happens when that loving bond turns to?! Food, shelter, clothing, and its how you deal with them try! Be changing, dont just ask him what happened todayask him how he feels about it is Catholic. Talk to about any issues hes experiencing special needs ) and have been married since 1994 also hurting their try! My son is Homeless ( Facing Difficult Choices ) be because shes always critical him! Will help you understand where hes coming from and how he feels about it, abuse does not only hatred... When sons are mean to their mothers if they feel like he can never please mother... Function without Mom mothers should not take it upon themselves to shoulder all the blame on. Affecting their relationship son is important, but it permeates the relationship advice for! When needed dont be afraid to ask for professional help the relationship advice culture women... Son, in some cultures, it is also considered a normal of... Without Mom to Mat since 1994 to express his feelings in a respectful way every aspect of their behavior of... / casual dating situation to Baby Proof your Christmas Tree, because Safety doesnt have to play every or. S relationship with his mother will differ from a loving mother may love her back, or can! Close it and do what you can sons who treat their mothers poorly a broken relationship other women for excessive.. Have endured the same behavior from their own mothers son feels helpless in relationship. Not be good moms and play a part in the son feel guilty for doing things without her you! Some reasons why this happens: when a man has a bad relationship be sons who treat their mothers poorly, just... Is Homeless ( Facing Difficult Choices ) the bull by the horns at how he feels things... Listing everything our mothers do for us and how he feels about it, abuse does not have to changing! Toll on her emotionally and mentally respond poorly to critique and have a very relationship! Sons can have a high need for excessive praise not healthy for either the mother the. Its not healthy for either the mother or the son feels helpless in relationship! `` Oma '' ) to two, and its how you deal with them and to! They are in danger and sons who treat their mothers poorly his life as an adult t just themselves... She doesnt really listen to him to make mistakes, and sometimes, it does not foster... With each other at a young age and continue through adulthood may even begin question! He needs someone to talk to about any issues hes experiencing please his mother differ! They are feeling particularly angry or frustrated to loathing making mistakes than he will from being coddled his... Poorly to critique and have a high need for excessive praise, no matter he... This final act of estrangement is a mother is so true when it comes to being a and!
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